Sunday, July 8, 2007

Immigration & Lou Dobbs' "I have a nightmare" Speech

Bridgethought of the Day: When the going gets emotional, the emotional get lost.

Two facts you must know, and know well:
Immigration is not just an "emotional hot-button issue" rated Rx, it is all about emotions. Those emotions are, to wit: a) fear; and b) terror.

Lou Dobbs has always been The Bastion of sound, sane, reliable, reasonable, & conservative advice on the one subject of prime concern among all conservatives, i.e., Money.

Add 1 + 2 and you get: 3. A blithering fool.

Yes, fear also has its chemistry - powerful stuff, that - and the neocons, as well as the traditiocons and establicons, are the alchemists, providing you plenty of fears to gnash your virtual teeth on well into the 43rd Century. But fortunately, they're saving you the $ & trouble by working hard to bring you Armageddon long before that - say, 2012 by my ... ah.. calculations.

But enough blabbering. Let's get right to the blithering, which, according to the price tag on Paris Hilton's trip-to-jail photo, is what we value most. You see, what turned our Financial Stability Hero, Lou Dobbs, into Hearts on Fire is Immigration, and almost everything morally wrong and disgusting emanates therefrom.

People give credit to our Congress in Inaction for the failure to come up with a solution to the Immigration Hot-Button Issue, but we should never dismiss the unfailing efforts of the tireless and indefatigable Lou Dobbs to deprive George Bush of even One Final Success to offset the failure of his War Without End Amen Policy.

His stirring "I Have a Nightmare" Speech certainly sets the stage for all Americans to work up a fear so intense it almost, but not quite, rivals the much-touted Fear of Death and Fear of the death of loved ones by starvation, or their torture by poverty and other disasters that are behind much of the "illegal aliens"' fight for legality, aka Immigration. So without further ado, here are some excerpts:

"I have a nightmare... that millions of illegal aliens are getting a free ride - and we're paying for it - instead of paying for the wars and weapons systems to which we, as a free society, are entitled... I have a nightmare ...

"That rampant illegality by illegal aliens will spill over and cause hard-working law-abiding citizens to rebel against the rampant injustice of it all, and break the law... starting with the laws enforcing taxes to be paid to the IRS...

"I have a nightmare ... that illegal aliens are taking countless jobs from law-abiding legal citizens, who are forced against their will to live as couch potatoes, drinking beer and watching 70's reruns when, were all illegal aliens eliminated by simply enforcing existing laws and building a 2,000-mile-long wall visible from space, those same couch potatoes could instead be breaking their backs picking potatoes in the fresh methane-infused air and living in squalid metal shacks so they could send a few measly dollars to their wives and kids in Chicago and Cincinnati where they can better fend off druglords and ... pay their taxes - instead of being sent down to Mexico and subsidizing a free ride for hungry women and children who pay no taxes to the United States... I have a nightmare...

"That illegal aliens are bringing more and more leprosy into this country and other horrifying diseases such as tuberculosis, smallpox, bubonic plague, and amebas, to name a few. .. and instead of spending more tax-n-spend liberal cash on health and human services, we could be spending them, as we should be, on more weapons systems, international war adventures, and cool killing games that we call "international policy" and "saving the world for democracy"... I have a nightmare...

"That the minimum wage will be reduced to $1.60/hour... that crowds of people will gather in the streets of ... of Boise, Idaho, and Cleveland, Ohio ... singing "Cielito Lindo" at soccer games ...the streets of America will be filled with people hawking Virgin Mary statuettes and a strange white cheese we can't understand that will give us diarrhea ... that honest, hard-working Americans will have to learn the meaning of "uprimez el ocho", whatever that means - I for one, have no intention to ever know what it means ... our children will experience the horrors of being - gag - bilingual ... and the water supply will have amebas ... I have a nightmare...

"That the IRS will go bankrupt, forcing us to resort to dealing with world problems on the cheap, with diplomacy ... I have a nightmare ...

"That without sufficient tax revenue, we'll be forced to outsource the entire President's cabinet, just to make ends meet ... and these, my friends, are the nightmare possibilities:

  • The office of Secretary of State could be outsourced to the Dalai Lama;

  • The Secretary of Treasury could be outsourced to the Sultan of Brunei - which, on the up side, could be a boon to gold futures, and perhaps the luxury auto industry;

  • The Secretary of Defense could be outsourced to, imagine it, Kim Jung Il;

  • The Secretary of the Interior could be outsourced to Prince Albert of Monaco;

  • The Secretary of Labor could end up outsourced to Hugo Chavez;

  • Secretary of Health and Human Services would be outsourced, probably, to the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation;

  • The Justice Department could be run by the Hague, or Amnesty International;

  • The Secretary of Energy would be outsourced to Prince Bandar of Saudi Arabia or even King Abdullah, whichever shows up first;

  • The Secretary of Commerce would be outsourced to a Wal-Mart/China Consortium;

  • NASA would have to be outsourced to Bert Rutan and Richard Branson; and

  • The CIA would be run by the Mossad with secret black funding by unknown billionaires.

"I said, I have a nightmare... and if you read the Immigration Bill, you too would have nightmares... because everything in it is all about legalizing the illegal and inalienating the alien, and that's disgusting, because it's just plain wrong, financially unsound, and will destroy our tax base, and destroying our economy... instead of building more prisons and barbed wire and walls to protect our way of life and our American institutions of baseball and transfat pie and freedom fries and whataburgers that have no relationship with Austria..."

Fortunately, no one, not even Lou Dobbs, not even the U.S. Congress, not even, of course, Bush or his administration, has read the Immigration Bill because it's just too damned long... so it's lose-lose for the people who are dying in an effort to feed their families on the side of the border that has rampant millionaires flicking their cigarettes on hundred dollars bills just for laughs, or who think a gold-plated toilet isn't gross, as long as the Sultan of Brunei approves, just so long as those growing ranks of over-the-top rich folks don't get burned, let the aliens die, and keep them, certainly, illegal. Because it's legal to be cold-hearted and self-indulgent, certainly - but fighting for life in the desert is punishable by death, banishment, or an eternal place in the nightmare of Lou Dobbs...

So which fear wins in the Fear Wars, fear of death or the problems of poverty for one's family, or fear of alien cultures and free rides? We report, you decide, but remember...

Fear the snear.

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