Religion: The Dye-Pack of the People

Bridgethought of the Day: If you want to really smear someone or a large number of someones, use a dye pack.

What does this mean? And What, in fact, is religion?

These are questions, profound questions, with which men like Karl Rove, Dick Cheney, Paul Wolfowitz, Ariel Sharon, L. Ron Hubbard, and Jerry Falwell have wrestled, professionally I might add. And we'll start with the ex-World Bank heavyweight, Paul Wolfowitz, since Banks and Dye-Packs sort of go together.

You see, since the invention of the expression "politically correct" to undermine the taboo against racist, sexist, or otherwise demeaning speech, there's still been that contingent out there looking for a Plan B. But this Plan B was not to be an alternative to Plan A, but rather B was for "Big", as in Something Very All-Inclusive.

Bad-mouthing non-familiar social groups, aka racist/sexist/ethnic slurs, goes along with Free Speech in the minds of members of Familiar Social Groups, namely WASPS, as part of the American Way. And even more important, it goes along with the Institution of Xenophobia, where the more American a person is, the more '50's apple-pie/mom/smiling clean-clothed/Euro-ethnic or Jewish-professional-entertainer/ flag-obsessed/buck-earning/English-speaking/tax-paying/non-foreign-looking/white/ dentally-intact a person is - and vice versa. Patriotism is a culture with a club.

With that in mind, let's find a solution to terrorism. If only all terrorists could be easily identified. What we need is a good dye-pack, something to explode in their faces everytime they try to pull off a terrorist act, successful or not. Problem is, it's not like they're always after something like money that can be planted. But they are after something - somewhere between vengeance, attention, and that feeling of conquering an impossible beast, if only for a moment. Aha, the Beast! That's it!

The Beast reminds us all of what? Religion, of course! "And what rough Beast, its hour come 'round at last, slouches toward Bethlehem to be born ..." What could be more religious than T.S. Eliot, Bethlehem, and Revelations? And to a terrorist, what is the Beast? America is!

Who else watches silently, slouching, as Israel slaughters Lebanese civilians from the air? Who else watches the Palestinians get bulldozed out of a pauper's lane of land for some rich, imported Chosen Ones - and claps with all the fervor and pride of the Romans in their amazing Coliseum? Who else cares so little for infants and children killed from starvation by sanctions, bombings or wars, referring to them callously as "collateral damage"? Who else clamors for more cruel torture and interrogations and demands and end to the humane treatment of prisoners of war? Who else doesn't give a damn about the international laws against assassination or invasion of countries against their will? The Beast, that's who!

So, in the gospel according to Rove, we call ourselves the Savior, and they are the Beast, see? Just reverse the roles. And then the dye-pack. It's religion, the religion of the Beast. Islam. All we do is associate Islam with the Beast and we've got it made! So every time someone who is Muslim fights against anyone from the West or Israel, or better yet, attacks civilian targets, the dye-pack explodes! They are "Islamic Terrorists." They are The Beast.

Religion is really, for the guys mentioned above, something of a racket, a thing that you use to get what you want. So now it's turned into a thing you use to splatter indelible ink all over the enemy you wish to create. So now we can find the Terrorists. They are Muslims! Anyone who is Muslim who does anything "suspicious", becomes a part of Terrorism. He's into the Beast! Then, just to be "politically correct", you have to say "Of course, we don't mean the Good Muslims." Like the Christian or Jewish ones. Or the ones who never pray. Or the ones who don't speak Arabic. Or the ones who work hard to make money and don't give a damn if children are dying in Palestine because it's none of their damn business, right? Those are the Good Muslims. We don't mean them.

The Beast is Islam. The religion of people who are so angry about the extreme continuous oppression of people around the world that they can't wait for the "system" run by the U.S. and Britain to work. Wasn't patience supposed to be a virtue?

Were the terrorists of 9-11 attacking America, their Beast? In the so-called "post 9-11 world", they were creating a new Beast - Islam! And we believe! All Americans follow closely "terror level - elevated" and wonder, where will they strike next? FBI officials dutifully interview every Muslim student, fishing for plots: "Do you know Osama?" As if every Muslim has some sort of conduit to America's Most Wanted Terrorist. Is America crazy, or are they just building up the dye-pack chemical base?

Listen closely to the news: "A group of Muslims has been linked to a terrorist plot." But no one said "Timothy McVeigh, the Christian who blew up the Murrah Building in Oklahoma City." Does anyone even know what his religion was? Before he was caught, the first to be arrested was a Muslim from Jordan - the old Middle East Muslim thing. If someone in a terrorist plot is not Muslim, his religion is never mentioned. Terrorism is not a religion, and yet the dye-pack security plan wants it to be. It's a new religon called "Islamist." It's The Beast.

It's driving tyrants crazy overseas. Look at Hosny Mubarak, Egypt's cruel dictator. He bends over backwards, even having his security forces rape innocent women, even locking down mosques to prevent people to pray, even making it a criminal act for any "sheikh" - all are now government-appointed, usually police officers - to say anything remotely construed as "activist" or political. Mubarak's going all out to destroy The Beast of Islam. He's undermining the teaching of the Arabic language. He's preventing the teaching of Islam as a religion. Freedom of religion is part of the Beast. Islam dictates that no religion be coerced or a state religion. That is another part of Islamism, the Terrorist Beast!

Kings Abdullah & Abdullah are trying to do their part to undermine The Beast. The Beast that wants to devour Childe Israel the beloved. The Beast that does not love Childe Israel as Childe Israel should be loved. And who doesn't love beauty, especially beauty that comes from pampering and wealth, flaunted before the filthy vermin that they call the poor people? Ooooh, those stinky poor! Royals understand the disgust of the Israelis. They understand the need to be special. They understand birthright, wealth, inheritance, and being born on a higher plane, born to be pampered, special, Chosen, the Chosen Few, God's beloved. And how could God not love the Beautiful People who live in splendor and indulge their every desire while unworthy creatures do not even deserve a few shekels' worth of drudgery to feed their always-devouring children's mouths?

Yes, Royals and tyrants understand the need for security to protect what was stolen from others less deserving. You know how low-lifes are, always ranting and raving about "rights" and "humanity" and "compassion". But that's not what religion is about. It's about creating fear, love, and loathing. It's about mass emotional manipulation, or so I overheard from those guys who're supposed to know.

Religion is about dye-packs, about putting to sleep 300 million people so they can BELIEVE that they are always RIGHT just because they are Americans and to say otherwise would be unpatriotic, just like the Israelis are always right, because to say otherwise would be anti-Semitic, and that Muslims are always terrorists unless they are the Good Muslims who just want to assimilate and believe the same dye-pack of lies, just like everybody else, so we can all go to hell on the back of one great big Beast.

Whose hour has come 'round at last...